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Tag Archives: Alcohol

Skinny Girl

7 May

I’ve been hearing a lot of people rave about the Skinnygirl Margarita.

It’s the idea of Bethenny Frankel, who you may know from numerous TV shows, most notably, The Real Housewives of ________.   (If you can fill in the blank, you should be ashamed of yourself.)

It’s a prepared margarita that is only 100 calories a serving–hence the name.  Bethenny is also a chef and mixologist (fancy word for bartender) and reportedly, recently sold her Skinnygirl Margarita idea for 120 million dollars.

There are so many reasons to hate her.

A true Skinnygirl Margarita should be marketed as a meal replacement.  If they sold this in a can like Slim Fast, I would be skinny, too.  And a much nicer person.

Maybe.

Personally, I have little faith in any product with the word skinny in the name.  I’ve been drinking Starbucks Skinny Vanilla Lattes for years and it hasn’t worked at all.

But, I go on a hunt for this product and land at Gomer’s Midtown at about 10AM, which is a little too early to walk into a liquor store comfortably.  Gomer’s sits on the corner of a relatively busy intersection. When you walk in the store before noon, the people sitting in their cars waiting for the light to change, look at you with disgust.  I know this because I’m that person.

Typically, when I walk into any liquor store, I’m on a mission.  I don’t want to take my time and look around.  I know what I want and I don’t want to be distracted by other things.  I walk in and immediately call out what I’m looking for “Jack Daniels?” and they mumble “Over there” and I’m on my way.

But, when I walked into Gomer’s, I suddenly realize, I just can’t holler out “Skinny girl?”

What if the liquor store guy, we’ll call him the liquorologist, doesn’t realize I’m looking for a product?  What if he thinks he has to answer a very awkward yet obvious question?

To avoid harsh reality, I find the bottle myself.

One 750 milliliter bottle of Skinnygirl Margarita is barely over $12.  That’s a great price and only about twice as much as it would cost you to buy the ingredients and make it yourself.

I stood in line behind a grizzly, sweaty guy who bought 3 boxes full of various bottles of alcohol.  I tried to listen but I didn’t get the full list of everything he bought when liquorologist rattled if off.  I did catch “six liters of Southern Comfort.”

Looks like I should have followed this grizzly back to the party den.

But, instead, I got it home and chilled my Skinnygirl Margarita.

A little advice, this is not called Skinnygirl tequila.  It’s not pure alcohol, only 25%.  So, using this random example, let’s just say you’re tempted to cool it down quickly and throw it in the freezer for an hour because you don’t have any ice, your ice machine isn’t working, you’re hoping one day it will but until then you refuse to buy those ice trays because really, you like having ice but you hate filling those trays so they will probably sit in your freezer half-empty and your won’t have ice when you need it anyway so you might as well…

Don’t.  It freezes.

That 25% will fool you.  Half a bottle can create a good buzz.

I’m guessing.

The taste is flavorful but way too tart for me.  So, I added sugar.

So now, basically, I’m drinking, Skinnygirl Margarita.  I’ve canceled out the skinny.

Then, I had a friend over and we taste-tested the rest of it while we ate summer sausage, cheese and crackers on the porch.

And that’s how I came up with my own, much better, 120 million idea:  Fatgirl Margarita

This idea comes with a snack.  

Ask for it by name.

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